


They can't come between us, they'll never defeat us, we won't break so easily...

by Glamtrueffel96



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Sauli Koskinen RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - 19th Century, Alternate Universe - Historical, Falling In Love, Familial Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Hate, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-11
Updated: 2013-04-26
Packaged: 2017-12-05 00:52:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 14,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/716987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glamtrueffel96/pseuds/Glamtrueffel96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Saulbert AU that takes place during the 19. century: Sauli who just lost his family in a tragic accident finds work as a gardener for the wealthy Lambert family. One day he meets Adam, who is abused by his father for liking to sing and they both feel the attraction. Unfortunately beeing gay is considered highly illegal in California. Will their blooming love survive this challenge???<br/>( sorry i'm kinda bad at writing summaries hope you read it anyway)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1: Adams POV

**Author's Note:**

> I actually got the idea for this fic in social studies class XD  
> Sorry this chapter is really short. I'll try to post the next chapter soon. I really hope you like it =D Comments are loved!

"Goodbye Adam!", my mother called out to me:" I ought to give Madeleine your best greetings. She is going to be disappointed you're too 'ill' to go to the ball with us." With that my parents were finally gone for the night. 

I had been supposed to go with them, to meet my soon to be fiancee but this morning my dad had heard me singing again. He hated it when I sang because in his opinion it wasn't 'socially acceptable' for men to sing. He wanted me to hunt and gamble like he did all the time but unfortunately I couldn't stand both things. I had tried to pretend I liked it for years but my real passion was dressing up and singing. My father hadn't complained that much about it when I was younger, claiming it was just a phase I would get over soon but now as I was old enough to get married he had begun to force me to behave like he thought was the right way for a man. 

My parents desperately wanted to find a wife for me so that I would grow up and behave like my father wanted me too. But.... I didn't want to have a wife. The mere thought of kissing a girl made me feel slightly sick, let alone doing other things i didn't even want to think about. 

My father was really afraid I was an 'unnatural' who liked boys because that was really illegal in my country. So he hit me hard every time he heard me sing. 

I didn't even know if I prefered boys, I just knew I couldn't marry a woman. But my father beatings really really hurt inside and out. 

The one this morning had been especially bad and I still felt like I was going to be sick every minute. Maybe some fresh air would help. I dragged my aching body into the garden trough a back door of our gigantic villa and walked the short way to my favorite place in the world. It was like a little cave of trees and bushes right next to a small river. I loved it because it was very quite there and I could sing our just hide without the constant danger of my parents finding me. It was my own little hiding place where I wandered quite often. 

My sore stomach protested as I sat down on the soft grass. I groaned and closed my eyes, slowly breathing in and out to make the pain go away . After a while I finally felt a little better. I relaxed into the ground and promptly dozed of, exhausted from the heavy beating I had received.


	2. Chapter 2: Saulis POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update and the chapter is quite short again. I didn't have that much time to write =( But I try to updarte soonish ;) Hope you enjoy!

I hated being here. I hated every part of my life. Why was I even still alive? It wasn't if anybody would care if I just disappeared....

Going to the US by ship from Finland had sounded so good when my parents wanted to start a new life so of course i had gone with them. How could I not? I loved them both so much there was no way they could leave me behind! We had sold our little farm I loved so much and said farewell to our friends. We also sold almost all our belongings and clothes since each of us could only take one suitcase which was really sad. Then paid almost are all our money for an one way ticked to California. That's when everything went wrong.

At first it was really fun because everything was new and exciting to me. But then came the night I wanted to forget so badly. During a very bad storm my mother lost her footing and fell into the sea. I still heard her screaming in my dreams every night. My father had jumped after her to save her but he, too, never came back up. I had wanted to go after them without even thinking about the consequences but some of the other passengers restrained me until I passed out.

The rest of the travel time was a blur to me since I spent most of it deep in shock until we arrived in Los Angeles. When I was standing on the street with nowhere to go and no one i knew anywhere close I realized that I was truly alone now. I didn't have my parents, had no money and I didn't even speak English that fluently. That night I slept under a bridge which was utterly terriffying. During the whole night I thought about finishing my life but I just hadn't the guts to end it myself. And somehow it seemed wrong I would waste my life like this when my parents had sacrified so much for my future. Still I was almost desperate enough to kill myself by morning but then Maggie found me. She was a lovely old woman who took pity on me and took me to the house where she had been working as a housekeeper for decades. Then she told me I could stay, get free food from her and sleep in a tiny little shed if I took care of the garden. Of course I agreed, I didn't really have another option.  
So that's what did for the following couple weeks. Taking care of the huge gardens was hard work but I quickly found out that I was good at it so it could have been much worse.I hadn't even met my master yet but I had heard Mr. Lambert was a very ruthless man and I was really scared of meeting him when I was going to get my money .  
One day as I was cutting at some trees in a chaotic corner of the gardens I heard a very strange noise. It sounded almost like.... someone snoring?? I curiously edged closer to the sound and gasped slightly when I spotted a tall, freckled boy about my age, with startling black hair laying in the grass. He seemed to be asleep but I must have gasped louder then I thought because suddenly he groaned a little and opened his eyes which were a stunning blue.  
Our eyes met and I felt a jolt go through me. WHAT was that strange feeling??? I'd never felt something that before. It was like I had a million butterflies flattering around in my stomach.....


	3. Chapter 3: Adams POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long again =( Hope you enjoy!

My nap was deep and dreamless which was good ,because I really needed more sleep to heal my sore body until suddenly a soft noise woke me up. I felt like I was being watched. But who would find me here? No one else knew of this spot, at least I hoped so. I groaned sleepily and opened my eyes with a racing heart, afraid it was my father. As my gaze landed on the figure I let out a startled gasp. The petite blond boy, who looked about my age, had a gorgeous muscular built and his deep blue eyes..... were looking right into mine. I hastily jerked my gaze away and noticed the stranger doing the same. My heart skipped a beat and I blushed fiercely, cursing my very fair skin. What was that strange feeling? I had never before reacted that way to another person not even all the pretty girls I had been forced to dance with by my parents at all those silly parties. In fact, I hadn't cared for them at all while I deeply embarrassed to be caught staring at that boy. Maybe my father was right with the hateful things he was always assuming...  
My insides still were liquid fire and I sincerily hoped I didn't look as flustered as I felt. But when I dared to glance at the beautiful blond boy again he looked as startled and breathless as I felt.  
I blinked and shook my head slightly hoping that would clear my thoughts. Who was that boy and why was I reacting that way to him? And what was he doing in my corner of the garden? The blonde still looked speechless and suddenly it dawned to me that he must be the new gardener I had heard our housekeeper Maggie talk about with my father. Since the old one had been fired for ruining my mothers precious roses Maggie had been in a desperate search for another gardener and she had begged my father to let the kid she picked up somewhere stay. To my surprise he had allowed it but I supposed that was only because the gardens had been in desperate need of some care taking.  
Since the boy wasn't looking like he was going to say anything soon I cleared my throat slightly:" I'm Adam Lambert and who are you?" I asked softly and he looked uncomfortable when he realized who I was. "My name is Sauli Koskinen. I'm supposed to clear up the garden. I'm really sorry I interrupted you sir. It won't happen again" he hastily answered with a slight accent I couldn't identify. His name was foreign too.... I mulled over where Sauli might be from until I noticed he had turned to leave. That upset me more than it should. I usually didn't want to spent more time than absolutely needed with people my age. Strange I know but I always felt like they were judging my every move and I it always stressed me out. How weird that I didn't feel anxiety around Sauli. "Hey"I called out:" Sauli.... wait you didn't interrupt me its alright!"


	4. Chapter 4: Saulis POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY I managed to upload a new chapter after just one day =D ENJOY!

I was just standing there speechless and not sure what to say. It seemed like every English word had fled my mind and it wouldn't help my situation if I would start babbling in Finnish. I was still desperately trying to think up an apology as the strange boy cleared his throat: "I'm Adam Lambert and who are you?" he gently asked and I froze in shock realizing he was the son of my master. And I surely had annoyed him! I desperately hoped he wouldn't throw me out on the street or tell his father.I needed this job I had nowhere else to go! "My name is Sauli Koskinen I'm supposed to clear up the garden. I'm really sorry i interrupted you sir. It won't happen again" I stuttered and started to walk away. My only instinct was to flee but I had barely taken a few steps when the boy realized I was leaving. 

"Hey!" he called out and I stopped abruptly. Had he already thought of a way to punish me? My breath started to go faster and my palms dampened. Adam, seemingly sensing my unease gently said:" Sauli.... wait you didn't interrupt me its alright!" What?? He wasn't angry with me? Was that boy really different from all the other men I had met in California so far? They would have hurt me for sure. Or was it a trick? Adam patted the grass next to him invitingly:"Come on join me if it's ok for you." Hmm he didn't seem like he wanted to hurt me and I rally needed to stop being so paranoid so I obliged hesitantly. As I sat down down next to Adam he broke into a pleased smile which made my heartbeat falter. Why was my body reacting this strongly to that stranger? I had never experienced something like that with anyone before not even with all the pretty girls in my hometown. And they had been constantly throwing themselves at me and calling me ''handsome''. I had never really understood what they wanted from me so I was kind of glad when we left the down behind...

I chased those thoughts away and shyly smiled back at the stranger. He seemed slightly flustered for a second then his smile got even wider. I still wasn't sure what the boy wanted from me but he was nicer to me than anybody had been in weeks even though he was my masters son. Usually rich people like him didn't even talk or look at servants but I desperately hoped Adam was really different. We sat next to each other in silence but I was to self conscious of my accent to say anything.

"Sooo," Adam drawled out curiously:"You're not from here right? I haven't seen you around before." "No, I just came from Finland a few weeks ago. I'm glad I can work here" I sincerely replied hoping he could even understand me. Adam looked awed:" Finland .... that's very far away right? May i ask why you came here alone?" At this words my throat grew uncomfortably tight. Why was he so curious? I didn't know if I was ready to talk about the death of my parents yet not even with the only friendly person I had talked to in weeks. The fact that they weren't alive anymore still hadn't really sunk in with me and as I thought about them my hands started to shake. "Sauli,"Adam whispered:"Are you alright? Did I say something wrong?" The fact that his pretty blue eyes were filled with concern made me shake even more. "Hey don't cry..." he told me but I couldn't reply. My eyes were tearing up and I was unable to stop the little broken sob escaping my lips....


	5. Chapter 5: Adams POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy =) sorry that it's quite short....

"Sauli" I whispered, worried about the blond who had suddenly started to shake:"Are you alright? Did I say something wrong?" He didn't respond and sobbed slightly. The broken sound made my heart ache for the boy and my eyes stung uncomfortably. What should I do?? I'd never had to comfort anyone especially not people I didn't even know. I had no idea what to do! But by now Sauli was really crying, so hard his sobs shook his tiny body. I felt utterly helpless but I couldn't just sit there and watch him fall apart. 

So I took a deep breath, gathered my courage and slowly edged closer to Sauli to carefully wrap my arms around him. I faintly remembered my mother calming me down like this when I had broken my arm as a little boy and I hoped it would comfort Sauli as well. He stiffened slightly at first but then he relaxed in my embrace and buried his face in my chest still sobbing. I gasped slightly and my heart was beating furiously as I felt his warm body press against mine. I had never felt this way before and honestly, it frightened me a little. Was it even natural to feel something like that? Especially for another boy....  
But I kept my calm facade on and stroked Sauli's back for a few minutes until his sobs lessened. ''Are you feeling better now?'' I asked him gently:''You know, it might help to talk about it.'' Sauli sighted into my chest:''I can't really talk about my parents yet. They died on the ship here only a couple weeks ago I'm only now really realizing it...''he sobbed and his tears started to flow faster again. I was shocked. His parents had died this recently and he was here working? How could I have been such an insensitive idiot to bring the topic up? I groaned:''I'm so sorry for bringing it up Sauli. Shh don't cry... I bet you're parents wouldn't want to see you that devasted.'' But Sauli seemed inconsolable by now he still was crying into my shirt. I felt really bad for him and since I was a really emotional person I was close to tears too. After a few minutes the boy's cries lessened but he stayed where he was his head buried in my chest. For a while we sat there without saying anything our hearts hammering. It seemed like neither of us wanted to pull away and desrtroy the moment.  
Suddenly a call interrupted the silence. It was our housemaid who had been looking after me since I was a baby:"Adam where are you? You must come immediately your parents will be back very soon!"  
Sauli jumped and pulled away from me. He was blushing hard and seemed very embarrassed. "S-sorry for my breakdown you'd better go..." My arms already felt empty without him in them and I was sure my face beet red too. But I didn't want him to go so I began: "Sauli its alright don't run away-" but he was already turning around and running deeper into the garden.  
I considered going after him but if my father found out I had been outside he would surely punish me very badly and I was too scared of being beaten again to risk getting caught in our garden. I sighed and turned towards our house feeling suddenly cold without another warm body pressed close to mine.  
With a hanging head I limped towards the house desperately hoping I would run into Sauli again very soon....


	6. Chapter 6: Saulis POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy =) Comments are loved no matter if good ore bad ;)

I just couldn't get Adam of my head. I had managed to avoid running into him in the gardens for a couple weeks after our first meeting because I was really embarrassed of my behaviour. I hadn't meant to break down like this but Adam had been the first person who had been that friendly and caring to me since my parents had died so I had been unable to keep my tears from escaping. And it had truly helped me to talk about it. But what did he think about me now? I must have horrified him with my dreadful behaviour and story. I was only a servant after all while Adam was the son of my master. I shouldn't even think of him as Adam but I couldn't bring myself to call him Mr. Lambert in my head. And no matter how hard I tried to forget our encounter he was always on my mind. When I was working in the gardens I always checked twice that he wasn't there and I kept imagining him sitting under that tree. In fact I went to that place every evening half hoping and half fearing he would be there but he never showed. Although I still was slightly embarrassed I always found myself disappointed by Adams absence. But I was sure he had already forgotten all about me, he surely met more interesting people all the time. This thought always made my heart ache in my chest and it didn't really help that I was feeling really lonely. The other servants were all much older than me and even though I had breakfast and dinner with them every day we didn't really talk to each other. I was too shy and self conscious about my accent and I guess they just didn't care to get to know me because they were always exhausted from their hard work. So I mostly kept to myself and sometimes went days without saying a word to anyone. It was kind of hard on me because I had been a very open and easy-going person in Finland. I had been constantly laughing and surrounded by others but maybe this part of me died with my parents.

The days passed and under my care the gardens were starting to look good again. I would have my first meeting with my master soon but I wasn't that nervous anymore because I was sure he had noticed I was doing a good job. After dinner I walked to the clearing by the big tree as usual. I didn't expect anybody to be there but of course I couldn't help hoping it would be different this time. As I came closer I suddenly heard a beautiful soft tune coming from under the tree. Was that Adam singing?? I jerked to an halt and hid behind a bush before the figure could spot me and realized that it was in fact Adam. My mouth fell open is surprise. He kept on singing quietly and his voice was beautiful! Although I had no musical talent myself I had always loved to listen to others sing but I had never heard a voice quite like Adams. It was soft and tender and touching but strong and powerful at the same time. I knew I should turn around and stop invading his privacy but I couldn't keep my eyes of him. Adam was leaning against the tree with his eyes closed as he sang and he looked really relaxed and peaceful. My heard raced and I felt myself blushing because he looked so beautiful and in that perfect moment I didn't want anything more than to sit next to him and let Adam put his arms around me just like he did during our first encounter. But wouldn't that be to much? Adam was my masters son after all although he didn't seem to mind me the last time we met...

I took a deep breath to calm down a little then I carefully walked over to Adam and sat down a few feet away from him. His singing broke of and he opened his eyes. When his gaze fell on me he did a double take looking slightly startled. Then he realized I had been listening to him and he turned beet red. A horrified look entered his eyes. Oh no I should have walked away would he punish me for sneaking up on him??? "I'm sorry for interrupting you I didn't mean to but you're voice...." I stuttered and started to get up. Adam grabbed my arm and I froze, sparks flying through my whole body at his touch."Don't tell my father!" he begged:"please Sauli don't tell anyone I was singing!" I was shocked by his reaction. What was so terrible about people knowing he was singing?? I didn't understand it but Adam looked truly afraid and close to tears so I looked deeply into his blue eyes and whispered:"Of course I won't tell on you. I promise Adam. " He sighted in relief and smiled at me. My heart faltered but I found myself beaming back at him...


	7. Chapter 7: Adams POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This my my longest chapter so far =D Hope you like it!  
> Oh and I probably won't be able to update tomorrow but chapter 8 will be up a couple days ;)

During the weeks following my first encounter with Sauli I couldn't stop thinking about him. Although I never met him in the gardens I kept thinking that I spotted him somewhere but to my disappointment it always turned out to be someone else. He even haunted my dreams every night with his beautiful blue eyes... 

I didn't know what was happening to me but I felt different since I met Sauli. I could barely stop myself from humming all the time but I had to resist since my father always got angry when he heard me. Fortunately my parents were busy with something they were keeping a secret from me so they hadn't noticed the strange mood I'd been in. I had no idea what they were up to but to be honest I just was relieved they were mostly leaving me alone at the moment. That gave me more opportunities to write songs about Sauli... But they had been watching me closer than usual and they hadn't been out in a while so I couldn't sneak out to the gardens and search for him. I had overheard some other servants talking about Sauli one day, claiming he was a loner but did his job well. I had been very relieved to hear this.

When my parents were finally away to a meeting one evening I happily slipped out the back doors and went to my favorite hiding place. I was disappointed Sauli wasn't there but I sat down under the big tree anyway and closed my eyes. Then I took a deep breath and started to sing. For a while I tried out different melodies letting the music fill me. I loved singing like that because it never failed to make me feel relaxed and content. Suddenly I felt like I was not alone anymore. Someone was watching me. Startled I opened my eyes and did a double take as I spotted the boy sitting next to me in the soft grass. It was Sauli! My heart hammered in my chest and I blushed hard as I realized he had been listening to me. Oh no he had heard me sing! Would he tell my father? I was horrified and Sauli must have noticed the change in my expression because he looked concerned: "I'm sorry for interrupting you I didn't mean to but you're voice...." he trailed of and started to get up. NO! My arm reached out before I was able to control myself and I grabbed Sauli's wrist holding it tight even though a hot spark traveled trough my whole body. "Don't tell my father!" I begged breathlessly:"please Sauli don't tell anyone I was singing!" Sauli looked startled by my strong reaction and I felt like I was about to cry. I didn't want to get beaten up again, my father mustn't know I had been disobeying him. But before I could get worked up even more the blond boy locked his gaze with mine "Of course I won't tell on you. I promise Adam." he whispered softly and I sighted in relief. I broke into a happy grin my heart almost skipping a beat when Sauli actually smiled back. Wow he was beautiful when he smiled. I couldn't look away from his face and he kept staring at me too. Maybe he was feeling the same about me as I did about him?

I held his gaze until I began to grow slightly uncomfortable and looked away blushing softly. Sauli shyly cleared his throat:"Um... do you want to talk about it? I mean...you can tell me why you were so scared about me telling your father you had been singing. Of course only if you want too..."he stuttered and I just stared at him unsure if I should really share such private details with a near stranger. Unsure if I could even share this with anybody even someone as open as that boy. Sauli seemed to feel slightly nervous about me not answering so he babbled on: Oh and I'm sincerely sorry for interrupting you again I hope you don't mind me keeping you company. It's just that the last month was really lonely for me and it was good sharing some things with you last time we met so I thought maybe talking to somebody about your problems would help you too. But its ok if you want me to go I -" "Sauli its ok you can stay" I giggled interrupting his monologue. He blushed and looked away shyly. What an adorable boy I wish I could....

I shook my head sharply and took a deap breath:"My father can't stand it when I sing" I explained sadly:"He thinks real men don't sing and he often b-beats me up when he catches me. And he claims its unnatural that I like singing so he badly wants me to stop forever. But I can't because music is just a part of me I am unable too ignore... Without singing I wouldn't be me anymore." I sobbed slightly and Sauli lookeds shocked for a moment then he opened his arms and wrapped them around my shaking torso. "Shhh, calm down Adam I would never tell on you." he whispered sweetly:"Your voice is incredible, I have never in my life heard someone sing like you do. I don't know what's wrong with your father but in my opinion you shouldn't let him stop you from using such a fantastic talent. If you stop singing now you'll regret it later." As Sauli finished his little speech I released a shaky breath and relaxed in his grip. Wow he thought my voice was incredible!

My heart was racing and I could also feel Sauli's fast heartbeat against my chest. Hmm he smelled good. Before I could think about it I had already buried my face in the crook of his neck. The blond boy froze at first before exhaling deeply and then started rubbing soft soothing circles on my back. In that moment I was as happy and content as I had never been before. I wished I could stay in Sauli's strong, gentle arms forever but I had to get back into the house before my parents returned or I would be in trouble. A soft sigh escaped my lips as I pulled back slightly and locked my gaze with the beautiful boy.

"Thank you Sauli,"I sincerely told him:"You were right that really helped me alot". His answering smile was brilliant:"I'm glad I could help you. Maybe....can we meet again soon?" he asked shyly: "Yeah I'd love that!" I replied and we beamed at each other. Even though I was still unsure about my the feelings I had around Sauli I had never felt this content around another person before and I didn't want the floaty happy feeling and the butterflies in my stomach to disappear. Sauli even managed to make me feel better about myself which I hadn't thought was possible. I took a deep breath gathering all my courage then I reached out and lightly brushed my fingers over Sauli's perfectly sculpted face. "Goodbye Sauli I'm looking forward to seeing you again." I whispered, stood up hastily and started jogging towards the house. "See you soon Adam!" Sauli called after me still sounding kind of breathless. I smiled to myself and kept on walking with a little spring to my steps ...


	8. Chapter 8: Saulis POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it =D

I stared after Adams retreating figure, breathing hard. My face was flushed red and I swore my cheek was still tingling. I raised my hand to my face and lightly trailed the spot Adam had touched. My skin felt heated. For a while I kept sitting under the tree and thought about the previous happenings. I was shocked that Adam got beat up by his father for singing. Why would he forbid his son to use such a talent? Back home in Finland singing had been valued highly but if I came to think about it... many thinks were different there. It seemed to me that in California people were much less open and that they had different lifestyles than the people I had grown up with. I ached for the comfort my hometown but I was also feeling very sorry for Adam. It couldn't have been easy for him to grow up in this society ,maybe he would have had a easier life in Finland. But we were both here in Los Angeles and for now couldn't change it. I wasn't even sure if I would ever have enough money to go back home... 

I sighted deeply and got up. The shed that was my sleeping place for now wasn't far away but it was already getting dark. That meant I was too late for dinner. Oh never mind I would just skip it tonight I wasn't hungry anyway... This night I was tossing and turning. My dreams were haunted by a black haired boy with beautiful eyes. Adam. I knew it had been a good dream but when I woke up I couldn't remember what had happened in it anymore. 

After a quick breakfast with the other servants I went to work. I spent half the day pulling weeds out of the grass and watering the plants. I actually enjoyed working as a gardener it was nice to watch things grow and blossom under my care. Since the rest of the garden was beginning to look good again I started working on the little meadow where I had met Adam. I cleaned up the grass and planted a few beautiful flowers which hid the space under the tree even more. I really hoped he would like them....

It was an exhausting work and in the evening I was starving so I couldn't skip dinner again. I walked through the servants door of the main house into the kitchen. Maggie had already finished cooking and she smiled at me when she handed me a plate. "Adam asked me to tell you he will be at the usual place in an hour. " she whispered and winked at me. I froze. How did she know about us meeting? Had Adam told here I had been spending time with him instead of working? Would that have bad consequences for my work.... and Adam? The housekeeper took in my shocked expression and laughed:"I have been raising Adam since he was a baby that boy can't keep a secret from me. I know he likes to sneak out and I always make sure he won't get discovered by his father." she told me with a fond look on her face:"So don't worry your little secret is save with me. I'm glad that Adam is spending time with you he is alone too often. I think he could really use a friend and I suppose you feel the same. Life can't be easy for both of you." I was relieved that she wouldn't tell on us. ''Thank you I really appreciate that. I will try to be a good friend for Adam I promise.'' I told Maggie gratefully. Then I scarfed down the rest of my dinner. I couldn't wait to go meet Adam. Thinking about him made be feel stragely light headed and dizzy but that wasn't a bad feeling. I finished the rest of my chores faster than usual and the hour passed by quickly.

When I walked closer to Adams little hiding place my heartbeat began to speed up again. I was excited to see him again even though I was also really nervous. Would he like the flowers I had planted? They were the exact color of his eyes but I doubted he would notice. Adam was singing softly again and I smiled to myself while listening for a few minutes. His voice was truly breathtaking. I could stay here and listen the whole day.

Then Adam opened his eyes and beamed up at me:"Hey Sauli. I'm so glad you came" My pulse hammered in my chest as I noticed he seemed as nervous and excited I felt. I smiled back and sat down in the soft grass next to him...


	9. Chapter 9: Adams POV

I had barely closed the back door behind me when I heard the sounds of my parents arriving. Oh no, I was supposed to be studying poems right now. I had to get to the study before my father did or I would be in big trouble! To my relief our housekeeper Maggie knew I wasn't were I should be and she distracted Eber by talking to him. She had always had a week spot for me and I loved her more than anyone else in this house. Ever since that horrible day three years ago when my father had found me singing in the garden for the first time and had beaten me up so bad I couldn't get out of bed for a almost week she had assisted me in slipping out unnoticed by my parents. I knew my mother would probably allow me to sing but under the constant bad influence of Eber she was growing more strict and distant every year. I really missed the caring mother from my childhood sometimes. So Maggie was the only one I really talked too... until I had met Sauli.

I quitly ran into the study and closed the door behind me. Then I sat down at the table, breathing hard. I had just opened my book with shaky hands as my father stormed into the room. Whether I liked it or not I bore a startling resemblance to both my parents. I had inherited my fathers tall built although he was broader and my moms facial features. Those looks combined with a mane of black hair and a ton of freckles had the effect that everyone was constantly telling me how handsome I was. I hated it because I couldn't stand the attention and I was uncomfortable with all the girls who had been wanting to marry me since I had turned 16. My parents were ecstatic about them but I really didn't want to marry a woman or anyone at all and I desperatly wished I would seem less attractive to them. Well I didn't even understand what they saw in me since I thought I looked terrible with those freckles covering every inch of my body.

My father stared at me hard until I had to look up. I was shaking slightly, anxious he would sense the change in me that had occurred when Sauli had held me in his arms. Would my father notice that I was still flushed and that my insides were churning with butterflies? Even the mere thought of Sauli made my heart speed up again. I blinked hard to chase away the dreamy look from my eyes and cautiously met my fathers harsh gaze. ''Have you been studying all evening?'' he barked out and I flinched slightly. ''Yes sir I was busy the whole time:'' I answered trying to compose myself and keep my voice even. It wasn't even a real lie since I had truly been busy just not with my studies. My answer sounded false even to my own ears but Eber seemed to believe me because he turned abruptly and left the room. I slumped in relief and released a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Then I slammed my books shut. After a few minutes I felt sure neither of my parents would check on me again. I quickly slipped into my room and got ready for bed.

For a long time I laid there under my covers and thought of Sauli. I still couldn't believe he liked my voice and that he wanted to meet me again. I couldn't wait... My last thought was of his gorgeous face and eyes before I finally fell asleep smiling.

The next day I wanted to rush out and search for Sauli immediately but of course that wasn't possible with my parents home. So I sat in the study the whole day. I could barely focus on my books because I was nervously anticipating the evening. Would he even be there or had he already changed his mind about me? At lunch I couldn't keep my anxiety to myself any longer so I went to Maggie for help. ''Ummm Maggie... Could you please tell Sauli to meet me at the usual place an hour after dinner?'' I asked her,blushing slightly. She laughed happily:''Adam I know you met him yesterday, you both skipped dinner after all! Don't be shy about it. I'm really glad you found a friend. It can't be right for a young man your age to be alone all the time. Of course I will tell him!'' I hugged her thight:''Thank you:''.

Afterwards I felt more confident that Sauli would come so the afternoon passed faster than the morning. I impatiently waited for my parents to leave before I went outside and ran to the meadow. To my disappointment no one was there yet. But....those beautiful blue flowers hadn't been there yesterday. They were the same color as my eyes I noticed in wonder. Had Sauli planted them for me? No one else had done something like that before. The butterflies in my stomach sped up and I lowered myself to the ground. I could as well pass my time until Sauli was there with singing. Since I had met him I was more inspired to compose. I had written more songs the during the last couple weeks then I usually did in half a year. Sauli made me enjoy music again.

I sang several songs until I felt watched. He had come! I broke into a happy smile and opened my eyes. ''Hey Sauli. I'm glad you came.'' I told the blond boy. Well glad was the understatement of the century, I almost felt ecstatic. But of course I couldn't tell him that without him thinking I was creepy. Sauli simply smiled back and sat down close to me. 

"Hey " he said :" I see you told Maggie about us meeting. Is she really ok with that?" He looked a little worried. " Of course " I gently assured him : " She already knew about it. I'm sure that she won't tell on us. Maggie adores me. And she'll help me avoid my father so he won't notice either I hope" Sauli looked immensely relieved:"Good. I was a little shocked when she confronted me this morning" he laughed and I giggled:"Don't worry Sauli you won't loose your work because of you meeting me in your spare time. Even if my father was to find out only I would be blamed for it." My voice turned slightly bitter at my last sentence and Sauli frowned."I won't let you take all the blame for sneaking out because I asked you to meet me again. Besides we're doing nothing wrong! Everyone needs a friend to talk to." he said fiercely. My heart swelled with joy. Sauli considered me his friend! But I would never let him take the blame for meeting me. He couldn't afford to loose his job. Well enough with this depressing talk I decided to change the topic. 

"Sooo..." I looked into his deep blue eyes:"Did you plant the flowers here?" Sauli blushed adorably which made my heart speed up again.


	10. Chapter 10: Adams POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I can't believe I already have 10 chapters =D Thanks to everyone who is reading this <3

I would never let Adam be blamed alone for us meeting if his father found out! It was as much my fault as it was his and I didn't want him to get beat up again. The mere though of Adam hurting made my heart clench. I was surprised at how deeply I already cared about him. But he was such a sweet and gentle person he truly did deserve to live his life like he wanted and not controlled by his abusive father. ''I won't let you take all the blame for sneaking out because I asked you to meet me again. Besides we are doing nothing wrong! Everybody needs a friend to talk to.'' I exclaimed. The raven haired boy looked pleasantly surprised I considered him as a friend and my heart warmed. But he still seemed determined to protect me at any cost.

Adam locked his gaze with mine and I shivered from the strangest sensations running trough my body. "Soooo" he drawled out curiously: "Did you plant the flowers here?" Oh he had noticed. I blushed feeling embarrassed:"Yes... I thought you might like them,they hide this place from view even more" I stammered desperately hoping Adam liked them. He was silent for a while so I looked up and studied his face carefully. The boy looked stunned with his mouth hanging open a little. "You-you did this for me?" Adam asked in disbelief. My blush deepened:"Yes I saw them and they reminded me of you and this place so I brought them over here this afternoon..." Adams face lit up and my heart skipped a beat. He smiled at me genuinely :" Thank you so much Sauli. I really appreciate it. Sorry I reacted so surprised its just that no one ever did something like this for me and I was slightly overwhelmed. Are they the same colors as my eyes or am I wrong?" I nodded:''You are right. I saw them and thought of you at once so had to bring them over here'' ''Wow'' Adam whispered sounding touched by my action.

Wait, were there tears in his eyes? I longed to touch, to comfort him and he must have sensed it somehow. Adam gently took my left hand into both of his own. His touch sent sparks flying trough me. Our hands fitted together perfectly. "Is this ok?" he whispered. I nodded. "You know,"he went on with a dejected tone to his voice :"What we're doing right now is illegal here. We even could go to prison if anyone saw us holding hands." I had been aware of this law against same sex relationships when I decided to come to California but I had never thought it would be a problem for me. I had never feelt attracted to my own gender , well I'd never really felt something for any girl either. I had always dismissed my worries at that but now with butterflies running trough my stomach from Adams touch I finally had to admit to myself that I was immensely attracted to boys not girls. I had always felt different and I guess that was the reason. The realisation that I was falling for that beautiful perfect boy sitting right next to me hit me hard. I just hoped Adam felt the same but there was only one way to find out... 

Before I could over think it I had pulled Adam into a close embrace. He put his arms around me and crushed me against his chest like he would never let me go. I kind of wished he wouldn't... Both our hearts were racing together and I shivered in a good way. "They won't find out." I fiercely mumbled against Adams chest:"We can't let a law come between us! I-I really like you Adam and I don't want us to stop meeting. I'm not afraid of the consequences if we're together no one will be able to hurt us." The raven haired boy let out a deep shuddering breath :"I never before had such a connection with anyone." he whispered in his velvety voice:"Even though what we're doing is supposed to be wrong and unnatural it feels right. I don't want to be anywhere else but here with you" He liked me back! I felt ecstatic and astonished such a perfect boy cared for me of all people. Adam was so pretty with his stunning features and adorable he probably had girls swooning over him no matter where he went.

We hugged even tighter both of us needing the close contact to another human being. It had been so long since anyone had touched me without the intention of hurting me and I suppose it was the same for Adam. I desperately wished the time would freeze so we could stay this way forever. But suddenly a loud call rang trough the gardens interrupting our perfect little moment. It was Maggie:"ADAM! Come here now or your father will be home before you!" 

Adam pulled back relucantely, looking disappointed:"I have to go Sauli" he told me apologialy and I nodded understanding why he had to leave even if I didn't like it. "Go quickly Adam," I answered:"And be careful I don't want you to get hurt" He smiled:"I'll be back tomorrow I promise! " with that he carefully trailed his hand along my face like last time then he got up and ran towards the house. I admiringly started after him for a long time...


	11. Chapter 11: Adams POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter for you guys =D I think its the longest yet Hope you enjoy!

The following few weeks were the best time of my life. Sauli and I met almost everyday. We talked a lot so after just a week Sauli knew me better than everyone else did. He was a fantastic listener and he never judged me. Soon I was telling him everything about me while he held my hand or hugged me. I told him about my loneliness and the feeling I didn't really fit in and he confessed he had always felt the same. Sauli held me in his arms and whispered soothing foreign words into my ear while I broke down completely and told him about my father. He even started crying too when I showed him the scars those terrible beatings had left on me. We comforted each other and soon I felt better about myself. Talking to somebody about my problems seemed to really help me get over them. Of course Sauli talked too and I listened to his descriptions of his hometown in Finland, of his friends and of his family. We told each other everything and I soon felt like he knew me better than I knew myself. 

I was feeling the happiest I had ever been and Sauli seemed content too. We never did more than hug but we were constantly touching and holding hands. Both of us weren't ready to take the next step yet although we both yearned to do more.. I was far to afraid of what my father would do to Sauli if he discovered us so I held myself back even as ached to find out if Sauli's lips were as soft as they looked like. He seemed hesitant too although he clearly enjoyed being close to me. His heartbeat sped up when i hugged him excactly as mine did and we were blushing and giggling together the whole time. This beautiful feeling was new for us both and we didn't want to risk destroying what we had. The days passed in a blur and I wished things would never change. I knew perfect things couldn't last forever so I tried to make the most of every day. 

My parents were away nearly every evening and they almost never tried to bring me along to any dances which I was immensely relieved about. But I could sense there were up to something they didn't want to tell me about. I ignored the growing sense of dread in me and distracted myself by thinking about Sauli. That wasn't hard so even when I was supposed to be studying he was in my head the whole time and I dreamt of him every night. 

Of course it all had to end. One afternoon a my father called me into his study. I was shaking when I opened the door and saw both of my parents standing there with strange looks in their eyes. Had they found out about me and Sauli? I was so afraid I stood there speechless. "Adam" my mother finally said:"You are almost 18 so your father and I decided you should marry." What? Had I understood her right?I froze in shock and my mouth dropped open. They couldn't just marry me off to somebody! "B-but" I stammered in protest. My father interrupted me:"Stop stuttering!" he snapped and I flinched although tried to look calm for my own sake. "In two weeks you will be married to Miss Elaine Black whether you want to or not. She is of very fine blood and I'm indebted to her father. Your marriage will pay the debt and link our families." My mother nodded in agreement with every word he said and my world shattered.

They wanted ME to marry a GIRL? I couldn't believe it. How could they have planned a wedding behind my back? "What if I refuse to marry her?" I demanded boldly trying to keep my voice even though I was breathing hard like I had been running.. My father slapped me across the cheek hard enough to make my head spin:"You will marry her no matter what you say."he growled menacingly. I held my aching head whimpering quietly. That slap had really hurt but his words were worse.I knew couldn't marry a woman. What about Sauli? I cared for him deeply, I might even be falling in love with him. There was no way at all I could just marry someone else and forget about all him Besides I did absolutely not care for girls.. I took a shuddering breath and decided that this time I wouldn't let my father decide for me he had already done that often enough.

"I won't marry her" I tried to say but only a hoarse whisper left my throat. "What?"my father barked. "I'm not going to marry that girl!" I replied louder this time and met his gaze determinedly. His eyes flared up with anger. "Don't you DARE to talk to me like that! Leila leave the room. " My mother obeyed looking as scared as I felt. Oh no this couldn't be good. Sending Leila out could only mean one thing.... 

I was shaking but I wouldn't back down again.It was time for me to make my own decisions in life "I can talk to you however I want." my voice was icy although it shook ever so slightly."I won't marry her because I'm in love with someone else!" As I said this I realized it was the truth. I loved Sauli with all I had. 

Eber looked furious. He swung his fist at me and I could barely avoid getting hit in the head. Then he grabbed my shoulders and shook me hard. "WHAT?"he shouted:"Have you been sneaking out with a filthy poor girl? WHO IS IT?" I laughed bitterly. Of course he was assuming wrong he didn't know me at all. "It's not a girl it's a boy" Oh no I hadn't meant to let that slip. Would he hurt Sauli because of me? I couldn't let Eber find out about him! My fathers face went red as my reply sunk:"YOU DISGUSTING CREATURE! YOU ARE A SHAME TO THE LAMBERT FAMILY! I ALWAYS SUSPECTED YOU WERE AN UNNATURAL! YOU ARE NOT MY SON ANYMORE!" he roared while repeatedly hitting me in the stomach. I tried to struggle, to fight back but he had a tight grip on me and I was unable to get my arms free or even move. I groaned in pain as he swung again. My legs were faltering and my head was feeling strangely fuzzy. After another hard blow to my head he let go of me and I sank to the floor limbly. I tried to curl into a ball and to make myself as small as possible while sobbing in pain. "Stop!" I pleaded my father but he just laughed evilly and continued. His foot connected with my ribcage and I screamed as I felt my ribs crack under the impact. It was unbearable. Would he kill me? I deeply regretted I had never kissed Sauli and never truly told him how much he meant to me. Oh Sauli... I hoped Eber wouldn't find out he was the one I had been talking about. There was a buzzing noise in my head and the room was fading in and out. But Eber had no mercy. He hit me again and again until I blacked out from the pain. 

When I came to my senses again I was alone and I ached all over. Had Eber left me here to die? I had to get out of here somehow and make sure Sauli was safe from him. With tremendous effort I pulled myself to my feet and swayed a little almost falling back down to my ass. My head was spinning and I felt like I might throw up. I groaned but slowly started walking towards the door. I could do this. When I finally made it out of the house without seeing another person tears were streaming across my face. Everything hurt but I couldn't stay there and let my father find me again. The look in his eyes when I told him I liked a boy... He had looked like he wanted nothing more than to kill me. I shuddered at the memory. Halfway to my hiding place my stomach started churning even more and I threw up into the bushes. I had never been in so much pain before. The last few metres went by painstakingly slow. My legs shook so much I could barely make them move anymore. When I finally arrived under the tree my body couldn't stay upright any longer . I collapsed into the grass like a dead weight. Although I fought hard to keep my eyes open and stay conscious it was no use. I felt myself being pulled into the darkness again. The last thing I saw in my head before I passed out again was Sauli's beautiful smiling face.


	12. Chapter 12: Saulis POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy my fic =D

For the next few weeks Adam and I met all the time. We both hurried through our everyday chores to have a few hours of time alone with each other every evening. Maggie covered for Adam and we both were very careful so we didn’t get discovered. He told me everything about his miserable life and I held him close while he broke down. My heart broke for him and I actually started crying too when he showed me his scars. His beautiful chest was marred with old cuts and bruises, it was horrifying. I wanted to kill his father so badly although I knew I couldn't. Adam was really afraid that showing me his scars would make me think he was ugly but I assured him that to me he was the most attractive person in the world. He was so beautiful inside and out and the scars were a part of who he was.  
Seeing Adam so vulnerable made me ache for him. He didn’t deserve to be treated this way by both his parents. I learned that he was terribly disappointed in his mother because in the last few years she had become more and more withdrawn. She used to protect him from his father but now she was just looking the other way. I didn’t understand her reasons and I hated how she made Adam hurt. But I knew me listening to him made it easier for him to deal with his problems. Of course I poured out my heart to Adam too. I told him all about my good life in Finland and the horrible dead of my parents while he attentively listened and hugged me in all the right places. Soon we knew everything about each other and it was a great feeling. Adam understood me, I understood him and I was closer to him then I had ever been to another person. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere again.   
To my regret we never dared to do more than hug or hold hands. Both of us yearned for more but were too afraid of the consequences if someone found out. Personally I couldn't care less about my employment but I was scared what Adams father would do to him if he were to know about us. I sensed Adam was troubled by the same worries so I never brought the topic up and neither did he. We just enjoyed every little moment we had together, both knowing it could be the last. I spent countless nights dreaming about Adam and when he wasn't with me I physically yearned for his presence. My heart rate sped up drastically as soon as he touched me or even smiled. It was actually kind of embarrassing how often I blushed. But I was absolutely positive Adam felt the same way so I didn't even try to hide my feelings. We shared small hidden touches and smiles and I was happier than ever.  
I usually was cheerful all the time these days but when I woke up one morning there was a sense of dread filling up my stomach. I didn't know what it was but something felt of to me. Something huge was going to happen today and I wasn't convinced it was going to be a good thing. The whole day I tried to fight of the anxiety building up in me but my attempts at not to worry failed miserably. No matter what I did I couldn't shake the bad feeling in my gut. It actually got even worse as the day passed and I ached to see Adam. I desperately wanted him to hug me and tell me that everything was alright. The thought that my anxiety might have something to do with him crossed my mind more than once. I quickly pushed it away each time not wanting to linger on it. Adam was ok, I repeated to myself the whole day. There couldn’t be something wrong with him, I needed him with me!  
When I was done with my heap of work, I was really relieved. During the last few hours I had developed a major headache and I felt itchy and restless. Finally I could go and search for Adam! The image of him, holding me close, as we talked about our days made me relax a little. But as I got closer to our clearing my fears reappeared, worse than ever. I broke into a run, desperately hoping my instincts were wrong. But of course they weren't, my strange 6th sense always proved right.  
I froze dead in my tracks when I reached the clearing. My heart stopped and gasped at the terrifying sight. Adam was lying in a motionless heap on the ground. I probably could have mistaken him for just asleep if it wasn't for the blood covering his face and body. His arm was twisted in an unnatural angle under him and his clothes were ripped. There were fingerprints on his face and throat. It looked scary and very painful. Who the hell was responsible for this brutal assault to Adam? I couldn’t even imagine how many times he had been hit. His father was a possibility but I had never thought he would go this far...   
My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty but I stood there glued to the spot, unable to move. My gut twisted in horror. I felt like I was about to be sick. ''ADAM'' I shrieked in total panic and finally my legs obeyed my command again. I rushed to his side, tears rapidly streaming down my face. Adam didn’t even twitch. I fell down to my knees next to him and shook him frantically. Still, no visible response at all. '' Noo… Adam'' I sobbed: ''Wake up! Please I need you!'' I felt utterly shattered. This couldn't be happening. I couldn't lose Adam too... I had already lost everyone else I cared, about the universe just couldn't be this cruel.  
My vision was blurring but I wouldn’t give up on him so fast. I gently took his good arm and searched for a pulse with shaking fingers. There! It was very weak and fluttery but it definitely was his heartbeat. Adam was alive! I sobbed in relief. Why wasn't he waking up? I was almost hyperventilating because I was so worried. But Adam needed me to be strong and take care of him right now. It was the wrong time for me to completely loose it.  
I carefully pulled him into a more comfortable position with his head resting on my lap. Then I worriedly examined his wounds. Adams beautiful sculpted face was bruised and bloody. His lower lip was split and he had a few shallow cuts but at least his nose didn't seem broken. What scared me most was the state his stomach was in. It was almost completely covered with purplish blue and Adams breaths sounded wheezy and painful. I prayed he didn't have internal damage because then I would be absolutely unable to help. It broke my heart to see him like this. Adam, who had always seemed so strong to me, suddenly looked pale and fragile like he was half dead.   
He probably needed help by someone who knew more about this than me but I was unable to leave him alone at the clearing. What if he woke up disoriented and scared to death while I was gone. Or even worse what if his father found him here? No I couldn’t leave his side not even for just a few minutes. Tears were running down my face and tripping on Adams bruised cheek. I was terrified for him and completely unsure how to proceed. "Adam please wake up. Come on I know you can hear me!" I cried out and tightened my grip on his hand. Was I imagining things or had his eyelid twitched? I slowly leaned over him and pressed my lips against his temple in a soft kiss like I had yearned to do for so long. Adam simply couldn't die now. I still hadn't told him the extent of my feelings for him.   
Suddenly his eyes fluttered halfway open and I gasped. "Adam" I sobbed :"I was so worried you wouldn't wake up. I’m here with you don’t be scared everything will be alright.’’ Adam groaned and blinked slowly, clearly disoriented. His dizzy gaze wandered around until he finally focused on me. Recognition lit up his cloudy eyes. A soft pained whine escaped his lips and I flinched. It hurt me to see Adam in pain. I would do almost everything to make him feel better. "Sauli " he muttered blearily: "We have to get away from here..." his eyes started to slip shut again.   
"No! Adam stay with me, don't fall asleep again." I urged him, pressing his hand tighter. As much as I wished he could rest until he was healed I needed to get him to my house before somebody found us....


	13. Chapter 13: Adams POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAY managed two finish 2 chapters in a day =D

When I came to my senses again I was aware of a soft electrifying touch against my temple. It felt like... lips? But I couldn't really focus on the foreign sensation because my head was throbbing terribly and all my conscious thoughts were spinning away before I could actually finish them. I was aware that every single part of me was hurting. It felt like a carriage had run me over. I groggily opened my eyes halfway and moaned at the sudden brightness. It took me a while to adjust but then a pair of gorgeous blue eyes which I knew appeared in my vision. Sauli. But why was he looking so worried? And why was I in so much pain? Suddenly everything came rushing back into my foggy brain. My father had beaten me up worse than ever before. I had barely managed to get to the clearing. And all because I had accidentally admitted that I was attracted to boys. My headache intensified and I felt like my brain was about to split open. I whimpered again and Sauli flinched. I had to warn him he might be in danger from my father but it was hard to find the strength to speak.   
"Sauli" I whispered faintly. Even speaking hurt and my voice sounded rough to my own ears. "We need to get away from here...." I was feeling terribly dizzy and my eyes were starting to fall shut again. I was so incredibly exhausted..." No Adam stay with me, don't fall asleep again" Sauli commanded in a worried tone and gripped my hand tighter. I struggled to keep my heavy lids open although it would be more comfortable for me to be unconscious again and not feel the pain anymore. But Sauli wanted me to stay awake so fought against the sluggishness in my mind. I shook my head sharply to clear it but the sudden movement only caused me to feel worse.  
Every breath I took hurt terribly and I was feeling sick. "It hurts" I whined and Sauli reassuringly stroked my face:"Shhh I know...it will get better soon" he promised in a soothing voice. I badly wanted to believe him. His face was streaked with tears and he seemed genuinely afraid for me. I wondered how horrifying I looked. I probably resembled a corpse. "Do you remember who did this to you?" he asked with a worried sight. I flinched at the memory of my father swinging his fists at me. "My father after I admitted that I was in love with a boy" I replied weakly and then my eyes widened in shock as I realized what had escaped my mouth. Had I seriously just told Sauli I loved him? Why did I always speak without thinking first? "I wish I could kill your father!" he said murderously. Then he went as pale as a ghost as the rest of my words sunk in. He turned his incredulous gaze right on me. My heart was beating fast and I was close to panicking. Sauli stammered around for words: "Y-you love me?" I nodded weakly terrified he would be disgusted by me too. "Oh Adam" Sauli sobbed: "I love you too" Before his words could register in my brain he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.  
A wave of electricity shot through my body and suddenly I was wide awake again. Time seemed to freeze. I couldn't believe it, Sauli was kissing me! I barely had the chance to overcome my astonishment and kiss him back before he pulled away. My lips were tingling and I was breathing hard. Sauli looked as flushed and breathless as I was feeling. I wished he would kiss me again. If I could I would have done it myself but I was barely able to lift my head. I tried to catch Sauli's eyes but he was looking anywhere but at my face. Oh no, was I such a bad kisser he was already regretting he kissed me? I still couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that he loved me so maybe he had changed his mind too. I exhaled audibly and winced at the new wave of pain shooting through my body. Sauli's kiss had made me forget all about it but now it was coming back worse than before. A soft whimper escaped my lips and it finally made Sauli look at me. He wore a worried and a little guilty expression ''I'm so sorry for kissing you.'' ,he mumbled and my heart sank. He was already regretting it like I had known he would. Why did I even assume he cared about someone like me? Sauli took in my miserably expression and quickly continued: ''No I didn't mean it like that! Please drop that sad face! Kissing you was the best decision of my life and I don't want to take it back for anything. But I should have waited with it. You are gravely injured Adam, I only made you ache more and I feel bad for being so inconsiderate.''  
I laughed, glad that was the reason: ''Don't be sorry. Kissing you made me forget all about the pain for a moment.’’ In my stomach butterflies flared to life again.''Sauli exhaled, seeming relieved:'' Still we shouldn't kiss right now'' he told me and I frowned with disappointment. He grinned: ''I promise we'll have the opportunity for it again later.'' I beamed up at him ''Why not now?'' I said suggestively. I couldn’t wait to taste his lips on mine. Sauli sighed turning serious again: '' I want to as much as you do, believe me. But we need to get away from here before your father finds us. Besides I should really clean up and wrap your wounds they look terrible.'' Ugh I didn't even want to think about how awful I must have looking.  
''Where should we go?'' I asked with a frown. Sauli was right the risk of my father finding us if we stayed exposed was high. ''I was thinking of bringing you to the shed I sleep in for the moment. It's so hidden so I don't think your father would look for you there. Then I could maybe get Maggie to take care of your injuries'' he replied. That was a good idea I was sure my father didn't even know of the sheds existence. I told Sauli that I agreed with and he studied me for a moment. ''What'' I asked, blushing under his intense gaze. ''Nothing'' he replied with an adorable flush to his face: ''I was just thinking how handsome you are even with a black eye and bloody face.'' He found me handsome! Sauli continued before I could reply: ''And ... I was wondering how I'll get you to the shed. Can you even stand?'  
''Umm I'm not sure...'' I frowned. My ribcage was throbbing with every breath I took and my head was still spinning. Although that also might be from Sauli being so close to me. ''Come on I'll help you get up'' the blonde said with an encouraging smile. I hesitantly smiled back and took his outstretched hand.


	14. Chapter 14: Saulis POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heres the next chapter =D There are probably about 3 more to come

I gently pulled Adam to his feet. He moaned and swayed a little so put his arm around my neck to steady him. ''Thank you...'' he whispered in a pained tone: ''I'm not sure if I could stand on my own.'' I peered at his face worriedly. All the remaining color had drained from it and there was a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead. He looked like he might faint or throw up any minute. His eyes were wet from tears. My heart ached from seeing him in such a miserable condition and I wished with all my might I could take the pain away from him somehow. But we had to get to my shed before it got dark. I would try carrying him if he wasn’t so much taller than me that it would be pretty much impossible.  
''I'm so sorry.'' I told Adam: ''I really wish you could stay here until you felt better but we have to get going. Come on let's try to walk it isn't that far.'' Adam sighed unhappily but nodded. He leaned on me heavily and his breathing was ragged. I tried to take as much of his weight as I could which wasn't easy because of my small built than him. Without the muscles I had developed during the last few weeks of hard work in the garden I would have probably collapsed under him. Every step we took was pure torture for both of us. Adam kept wincing and groaning. I couldn't even imagine in how bad he must have been hurting. But he was determined to keep going and didn't complain once. In fact he even tried to hide the fact that he was in terrible pain until I told him it was ok for him to show it.  
Our process was antagonizing slow. Every few steps I stopped to let Adam catch his breath which was becoming more labored the farther we walked. It concerned me deeply and I suspected he had at least one broken rib. But we got closer and closer to our destination even though it took us a long time. ''Come on it isn't far anymore'' I encouragenmently said to Adam when the shed came into view. His only response was a grunt but his steps grew slightly faster.  
Suddenly Adam abruptly came to a halt. He clutched my arm even tighter to keep from swaying. ''Adam what's wrong?'' I asked, alarmed. I tried to keep him steady but he was swaying so hard he almost toppled over. Adams face was drained of all color now and he looked sick. His gaze was panicky:''Sauli, help I think I am going to-'' His eyes rolled up into his head as he fainted. I cried out in shock as I barely managed to keep him from collapsing to the ground. ''Wake up please, wake up!'' I shook him but he didn't respond. Adam was slumped over in my arms and his head was lolling to the side. I struggled to keep him up but fortunately he wasn't as heavy as I had expected given his height. Grunting with the effort I half dragged half carried him the last few meters until we finally reached my sleeping place.  
I carefully settled Adam on my makeshift bed made out of hay and old blankets. Then I fussed over him until I was sure he was as comfortable as possible, considering the situation he was in. His breaths turned deeper and slower so I guess he was sleeping now. To my relief some of the color was coming back into his face. I stood there watching him sleep while I considered what I should do. I needed clean water and bandages to take care of Adams injuries which still looked bad but I didn't have any and I was reluctant to leave his side. What was if he woke up and got frightened because he didn't know where he was? I was torn between staying at his side and going to Maggie for help. Eventually I decided that treating his injuries were more important than me being with him all the time. I didn’t want him to get an infection. Before I left I leaned over Adam and gently kissed him on the cheek. ''I will be back soon I promise'' I whispered sweetly and quickly left the shed.  
Fortunately Maggie was still in the kitchen when I breathlessly entered it a few minutes later. I had run all the way there wanting to be back with Adam as soon as possible. ''Sauli'' she asked in tone clouded by worry as soon as she had spotted me: ''Have you seen Adam? He didn't show up for lunch and dinner and I'm so worried about him.'' I sighted, feeling bad I had to tell her the fearful news:''He is in my shed but he is asleep at the moment. I found him passed out at the place we always meet, he told me his father hit him really hard. I'm so worried about him his face is bloody, his stomach is covered in bruises and I think he sprained his arm. Oh and he might also have a few broken rips his breathing sounds labored.'' Maggie paled visibly and she gasped in horror: ''Dear lord my poor boy'' she cried: ''I never thought Mr. Lambert would be this ruthless! Come on Sauli I'll give you some medical supplies and show you how use them.'' She frantically rushed of and I trailed after her.  
A short while later I was packed with two big buckets of clean water, heaps of herbs and bandages and a huge bag filled with food Maggie had shoved at me. She had wanted to look after Adam herself but we both knew the risk Mr. Lambert would notice it was too high so she had pleaded with me to take care of her boy. I had promised her I would do as best as I could and that I would immediately come for her in case of an emergency. I was in a hurry to get back to Adam, hoping he hadn't woken up.  
To my relieve he was still asleep when I passed through the door of my shed. He was snoring slightly and I smiled to myself, feeling more confident everything was going to be alright. I gently wiped of the blood covering face and massaged some herbs on his cuts and bruises. I was glad to discover that there were no serious open wounds, only little cuts that had already stopped bleeding. He twitched a little but didn't wake up. Then I carefully wrapped his whole stomach area and his wounded arm with the bandages. So that was all I could do I hoped it was enough. Adam mumbled something in his sleep and I lovingly stroked the hair back from his face. He was so beautiful it almost hurt me to watch him. Our kiss had been incredible and I still was astonished someone like him loved me. I gave him a soft peck on the cheek before I laid down beside him in the hay and promptly fell asleep as well.


	15. Chapter 16: Adams POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry I left you waiting for so long! I was so shocked and sad when Adam and Sauli announced their breakup I couldn't continue this for a while. And when finally wanted to write again I was so busy with school and exams I didn't find the time =/ I actually wanted to finish this 3 weeks ago O_O Since I'm still very busy I don't know when I'll upload the next (and probably last) chapter. Sorry! Hope you still want to read it!

I abruptly woke up, gasping for breath from a terrible nightmare of my father beating me up worse than ever before. Where was I? That definitely wasn't my warm smooth bed. It was soft but there were straws that tickled the back of my neck and almost felt like... hay? Still breathing hard I slowly opened my eyes and everything that had happened came rushing back to me. Oh! It hadn't been only a dream after all. I flinched as I remembered the terrible state I had been in yesterday when Sauli had found me. He must have carried me to his shed, I realized. The last thing I could remember was suddenly feeling very dizzy and panickly crying out for Sauli's help. I had probably fainted right into his arms merely a few meters away from shed. How embarrassing. Well everything else paled in comparism to the fact that Sauli loved me. It made me giddy and happy like a little child to think of our kiss and I hoped we would soon get the chance to repeat the experience.   
I hoped I would be strong enough to get up and kiss him today. To my relief my injuries weren't aching that much anymore. I had always been a fast healer and a good night of sleep had surely helped in speeding up my healing process. Well, I still had a slight headache that maybe was the result of a concussion but at least my head wasn't close to exploding like yesterday evening. My stomach and ribcage felt better too, Sauli must have wrapped them and my arm up somehow last night. I smiled at the thought of him taking care of me. What would I have done without him? I probably would have died out there in the cold. Luckily he had been there to save me like my personal guardian angel. I smiled to myself happily. No one could ever hurt me again with him close.  
Besides where was Sauli anyway? Just as I was wondering I became aware of the soft snoring sound coming from right next to me. I turned towards it as carefully as possible, knowing that every wrong movement could sent terrible pains flying through my ribs again. Sauli was deeply asleep with his mouth slightly open. I couldn’t stop the light giggle from escaping my mouth when I saw him. He looked so cute, innocent and young asleep almost like an angel. I yearned to hug him but that would have woken him up and I didn't want that. It was probably still very early and who knows when he went to sleep last night. So I settled on reaching out to stroke his beautiful blond hair instead. I had day dreamed of doing exactly that for weeks. It felt incredible soft and fluffy even more than I had imagined in my wildest fantasies. I contently lay there stroking Sauli’s hair for a while, while I watched him sleep soundly. A blissful and loving smile played at my lips and I felt warm and tingly all over. Suddenly Sauli mumbled something unintelligible and reached out to pull me close to him. His warm arms engulfed me. I froze afraid I had woken him up but a minute passed and he still seemed asleep. I smiled to myself and wrapped my arms protectively around the smaller body. Sauli nestled closer and pressed himself against me sighing contently in his sleep. How adorable. It seemed to me that he was just as needy for hugs and cuddling as I was. After all we both had been very lonely for quite a while. I relaxed in Sauli's warm arms until my breathing slowed down and I fell asleep again.  
When I opened my eyes for the second time Sauli was awake too. He was still wrapped around me and was currently playing with my dark hair. When he noticed I was up too he dropped his hand sheepishly and blushed a little. ''Sorry I didn't mean to wake you up'' I smiled playfully at him and took his warm hand: ''Don't be sorry. I'm glad to wake up next to you.'' He smirked back and deeply looked into my eyes. There was electricity sizzling in the air between us and I swore I saw sparks. We both unconsciously inched closer until there was only very little space left between our faces. I was breathing hard and couldn't stop staring at Sauli's full lips. He looked just as dazzled as I felt. Sauli leaned in at the same time as I did and our lips met. The butterflies in my stomach were dancing and a jolt flew through my lips into every pore of my body. I parted my lips slightly and moaned as Sauli did the same and our kiss deepened. He reached out and tangled his hands in my hair pressing me as close as possible. I groaned in pleasure and gently sucked at his lower lip. He tasted delicious. Sauli gasped against me and parted his mouth invitingly. My tongue moved in between his parted lips on its own accord. Sauli moaned against my mouth and I shuddered. Our lips meshed against each other and our tongues tangled together in our passionate kiss.  
Too soon, much too soon it was over. I breathlessly stared at Sauli who was openmouthed and also breathing hard. My whole body was burning and I could have danced around the room. Kissing Sauli was everything. It had been like an explosion going of inside me but in a absolutely fantastic way. We fit together perfectly like we were made for each other. Sauli was flushed and his lips were deliciously swollen. He looked so sexy I wanted nothing more than to lean back in and devour him. His amazing blue eyes were filled with a need I could understand too well. ''Wow...'' he whispered in a rough voice: ''That felt incredible'' I smirked in satisfaction. Sauli actually felt the same as me! ''Yeah... I wouldn't mind kissing you another time'' My voice was suggestive and Sauli blushed harder before shaking his head. ''I'd love too but I really need to rewrap your wounds and we still have to figure out what to do.'' He sounded disappointed. Oh true my father might be after us. What a mood killer. I sighted: ''Thank you for wrapping me up. I really appreciate what you did for me. You probably saved my live. '' Sauli gave me a sweet smile: ''Anything for you Adam'' My insides turned to mush.  
As Sauli rewrapped my wounds which turned out to be really better today he told me how he brought me into the shed after I had fainted and how Maggie had given him the medicine and bandages. I felt so thankful I had him in my life now, which I promptly told him. His eyes softened: ''I feel the same about you. I was so lonely for a long time and now I've finally found a place where I belong. And that's right by your side.'' His loving words warmed my heart: ''We belong together.'' I answered softly: ''And I will stay by your side as long as you want me to no matter what other people say'' Sauli beamed up at me: ''That will be forever then. I'm not planning to let you go anywhere without you.'' I laughed: ''I'll be right here next to you forever!'' Then I pulled him close and we started kissing again.


End file.
